TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
