I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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