i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
birth control should be required to get into college
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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