If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
