when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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