everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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