I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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