Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
