After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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