we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
