wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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