i just had sex bonerless
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
