girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
