you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
