That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
