I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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