WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
