Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
