Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
