I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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