She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
