dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
