Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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