Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
