I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
