id be glad to
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
