I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I am one with the molecules
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
