Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
