This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
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I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
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OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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