Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
