You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
be right there i have to get my cape
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
