New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize