quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
