i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
