I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
