so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize