Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
