we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
