who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
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We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
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If its not for food we ain't going out.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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