I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
