Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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