The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I will pee on everything he values.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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