The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Boobs speak an international language.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
