I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
please don't ironically join a cult
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