I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Randomize