what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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