How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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