My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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