I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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