We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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