So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
