Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
