Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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