so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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