I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
