let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
