But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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