i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
