he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You ruined the universe
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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