Whod you bang
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
