just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
