You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
