I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I am midnight drunk by noon
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
