How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
