Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize